I want Christ. I want the fullness of God. The Bible tells me I can have that. The Bible tells me I can have all of Him. Wow! I can be filled with the fullness of God! I can have God’s joy. I can have God’s peace. I can have God’s life. I can have it all! And I want it – all of it. I am greedy for God.
The Bible tells me that this is what God wants for me! He tells me to ask for that very thing. He tells me that He wants to be my joy. He wants to be my peace. He seeks to give me the fullness of His life – forever! “Come,” He says.” Take from the tree of life and eat. Have it all! Be full! Rejoice!”
“But there is a condition.”
I don’t like conditions.
“The condition is very simple. You can have all of God, when you agree to have none of yourself.”
“That’s right, none of yourself. You must die to yourself. You must die to your ambitions. You must die to your desire. Quite simply, you must first die before you can live.”
“Because you cannot have God and you. You can have God. You can be you in your rejoicing of God. But you cannot have God and you.”
But I like me.
“I know. You like yourself more than God.”
No I don’t!
Yeah, that’s right! I love God more than me!
“Okay. If you say so. Let me see your calendar.”
“I want to see how you spend your time.”
My time? Humph! I work hard. I am very busy, and have many demands made of me!
“Yeah? So, let me see your calendar.”
I left it in the car.
“Okay. Let me see your check-book.”
“Because I want to see how you spend your money”
My money! I work hard to earn MY money!
“I don’t doubt that. How much have you given to me?”
Well, (blush) I … I have been trying to get out of debt.
Yeah? I have …. Well, I’m working on it.
“Okay. So, show me the people you have told about your love for me.”
What!! I … umm, well, I … haven’t told anyone in a while … umm, I have had too much to do! Besides, I need some down time. You know, rest! I need some badly needed rest and I just haven’t had the time. Besides, I don’t have to tell people how much I love you. They can see it in the way I live!
“Oh? The way you live?”
Yeah. My service … to others, my … love for … you!
“Like yesterday when you were standing in line at the bank and that homeless man asked for a buck and you told him to get a job?”
Well, he was only trying to … get some booze!
“Oh? What about the lady who asked you to visit her friend with her in the hospital?”
Well, I had my yoga class, and would have had to miss it! Besides, I paid for it already!
“I know, on your credit card.”
Well, I need some me time!
“Oh. Okay. Did you go?”
Well, no. I went to the mall … I needed to do some shopping … for. Well, I just needed some things for the house.
“Did you put that on your credit card?”
Well … (blush) … I’ll pay it off at the end of the month.
I went to church last week!
“I know. I saw you surfing the web on your iphone.”
Well, the pastor is kind of annoying. He is always telling us that we aren’t committed enough. It’s like he just wants to stand in judgment of me. He doesn’t know my heart!
“Your right. He just observes your behavior.”
What! My behavior? What’s wrong with my behavior? I go to church every Sunday!
I think he should be telling me how to overcome the many trials I face!
“Like how you should get out of debt?”
You don’t understand! I need to be reminded of how much you love me! Life is hard. It’s hard!!
“I know it is. I came there once. I lived for you. I died for you. I did that so you can live for me.”
Well, I … I know all that! And I believe it!
“Did you find your calendar?”
I spent an hour at church this week!
“I spent six hours hanging on a cross for you.”
I have my crosses too! The pastor should love us more! He didn’t see my mom when she was sick!
“Is that why you called those people and told them all about it?”
Well, I needed to vent.
“So you did. They came to church and vented as well.”
Well, he should do his job.
Not by my standard!
“I know, but he was by mine. He was preparing a meal for you.”
“Yes. He was putting a lot of good ingredients into it.”
I don’t know what you are talking about.
“I know. I told him to feed my sheep.”
I just don’t think he meets my needs. I don’t feel like I get fed there.
“I was the ingredients in that meal. He was trying to let you feed on me. He was trying to give you me. All of me.”
What? He was just making me feel bad.
“Why do assume that was his doing? I was just trying to answer your enthusiastic prayer through his message. But, before you have me, you must die to yourself.”
I am a good Christian! Look, I have to go. I have a lot to do! You understand, don’t you?
“Don’t forget your calendar.”